There’s nothing like loading up a hefty bowl of some glorious ganja from Kushmart Everett, laying down some fire and taking a fat rip of your favorite heavy hitting strain. But at some point, everyone who’s come through the door of our Everett weed store has heard something like this: “It’s clogged dude! And this ain’t just gummed up man, we might need an exorcist!”
“At some point, everyone who’s come through the door of our Everett weed store has heard something like this: ‘It’s clogged dude! And this ain’t just gummed up man, we might need an exorcist!’ It’s a stoner reality.”
But there’s hope! And nope, and it’s not the Pope’s exorcism hotline. So let’s take a look Kushmart’s handy guide to cleaning your glass. Seriously, if this next suggestion doesn’t work, you can always try the hotline.
So first things first: disassemble your piece! Hopefully you didn’t throw away the owner’s manual. At this stage, a pair of rubber gloves are a good idea to help keep the more heinous resin at bay. The smaller pieces can be cleaned with a hot water rinsing and small tools such as q-tips, in addition to a few cleaning agents I’ll tell you about in a minute.
After you’ve scrubbed all the little bits, rinse the body of that baby out a few times with some hot water! The heat of the water helps to break up much of the less resilient goo, so keep it nice and hot, but not like “surprise molten center of an unevenly cooked Hot Pocket” hot.
Now’s the time to add your “abrasive.” Some people add salt, others use rice grains, hippies use quinoa, but only because kale doesn’t work. Basically, the idea is that these gritty little chunks, whatever they might be, will be used to hammer away at the real hard-packed crud fouling your glass. You shouldn’t use something that could damage your piece though, like gravel.
So don’t use gravel as an abrasive. Why would you do that?
After that, it’s cleaning solution time. Again you’ve got some choices, like rubbing alcohol (isopropyl) or vinegar — or you could have gotten yourself some Formula 420 and skipped the abrasive step all together! Maybe we should have mentioned that? Anyway, when you add your cleaning solution to something like salt, do not add so much as to dissolve it.
Here’s the fun step! Clog your bong holes with something — like a couple rags — that’ll prevent your bong-blasting cleaning concoction from flying all over the place when you shake, and shake, and shake, and shake!
Put on something with a good weird beat like Devo, and flail — carefully of course! — around for a few minutes, working the solution around inside the bong to break up your resinous foe. You’ll start seeing streaks of clear in no time! When your solution appears to become ineffective it’s time to jettison the mixture into the sink. It’s OK to keep dancing if you’re feeling it though.
Then rinse and repeat, ad infinitum, until every little teensy–weensy speck of crud has been banished from your bong! Or until you’re happy, whatever. If you choose to utilize some heavier smelling cleaning agent, give it a couple extra rinses, then give it one for the Gipper!
Now that your piece is all spic n’ span you’re all good to go! Next stop Kushmart Everett! Compare notes with the staff at your favorite Everett pot shop about your recent bong sanctifying endeavor. Then ask to take a look at Kushmart 99’s wide selection of 21+ recreational marijuana, so you can get started on getting your bong nice and lived once again!